The ‘To do’ list following divorce can keep you mega busy. In fact, it can keep you so busy with the next thing you have to learn, navigate, process, that you can unknowingly bypass the new mindset you need to build for survival and expansion.
I urge you not to busy yourself so much in the day to day duties that you neglect the healing and rebuilding you desperately require.
No matter who is filing for divorce or if you are happy to be moving onto a next chapter or not, we all carry a story with it. We may be totally surviving life but simultaneously swimming in perpetual bitterness, sorrow, anger, loneliness and goodness knows how many other emotions.
To allow peace and strength moving forward and trust in any new relationships, you need to fix the pieces of you that feel a little broken.
Where to start
- Allow yourself uninterrupted alone time every single day. This will give your mind time to switch off and a moment for you to release any emotions that may be rising or supressed.
- Agree on one channel of communication between you and your ex if you need to remain in touch due to children or pet arrangements. It can be overwhelming to receive and send numerous texts daily regarding plans. Emailing at the start of every week is a good route to choose.
- Write your thoughts and feelings down. Brain dump the mind chatter.
- Seek professional help if you are struggling with mental health, managing life, trauma recovery etc.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff. Learning to do life on your own is wonderfully empowering but also a lot to get used to. Let the little things go, allow space for a messy house, picnic tea for the kids, not returning texts etc – you’ll catch up when it’s right. Everything in it’s own sweet time.
- If procrastination seeps in, learn to listen to your urging gut instinct or your emotional compass. This usually is the right answer for you( before the overthinking makes an entrance ).
Remember, the skill to rebuilding of your life and mindset effectively is to ensure you are being authentic with all your choices. This can be so hard when you have been compromising, dulling, silencing aspects of your personality in order to try and make a relationship work.
This is your time to slowly reveal YOU again in all your glory, making aligned decisions that will build a life that is right for you.
No looking sideways, No Others Peoples Opinions, No Hiding.
This is your time god damn it! Learn the new way of doing YOU!