Busy avoiding Life

crop woman dusting lamp during housework

In moments of overthinking or boats of worry, it can be highly beneficial to busy yourself with simple tasks.

I know from experience, when I am whirling around thoughts and potentially slipping into a negative thought pattern, the basic chore of cleaning is my go to. I know, dull eh?! But seriously, focussing on simple tasks like washing down the skirting boards, dusting or cleaning the windows can be enough distraction to prevent you from losing yourself further, without it being a overwhelming task.

Some days I’ve actually washed down all the paint work in my house as the whole process began to feel really productive and moved a grey headspace into a few shades lighter.

For someone else it could be weeding, raking leaves, painting etc as long as it doesn’t require too much brain power but enough to keep you focused on something else. And the empowering part of this is that at the end you have achieved completing a job that felt so mundane the week before. – Win Win!

When is this not productive?

crop woman dusting lamp during housework

This type of activity is wonderful when performed sporadically to get you through moments of lows, negative thought loops, anxious spells etc but can be a ‘go to’ avoidance tactic for many.

Let me explain.

When people hit tricky times, they deal with it in a way that they have become accustomed to. Some will talk about it with a few close friends or a professional, others may take to their beds for a few days to retreat back, some will become the victim, others may deal with it privately until they understand it better.

Then there are the people who busy themselves soooo much with duties, socials, chores and work so they can escape from their pain in reality. Like I mentioned earlier, temporary distraction can work wonders but how long is it healthy to ignore the pink elephant in the room?

So, the way I have learnt to deal with difficult times is to use the gift of balance.

Research shows us that productivity and distraction during these times are valuable to coping, moving our thoughts momentarilly and feeling satisfied with simple production.

Research also shows us that burying our pain, trauma, confusion for great lengths of time without giving it moments of focus, will only supress the feelings rather than resolve and move past them.

Constant busying can be a Reg Flag to someone’s display of survival. Regular distraction is absolutely perfect, complete avoidance is harmful.

If you are feeling that you couldn’t possibly stop running around being busy through fear of what you may feel, try allowing yourself moments during the day where you can sit and chat to someone or journal, maybe cry, potentially speak to a professional to allow the pain to release from your body.

Allow time that you may understand your situation further and digest it without overwhelm.

I understand that our feelings and emotions can scare us. The reality of what we may have to deal with can be something we would rather not peer to closely at. I have spoken to many friends and clients over the years that are in fear of crying in-case they are unable to stop.

Now imagine all that pain being pushed down to the pit of your stomach and the bottom of your heart and in your subconscious mind. Imagine all those tears, the anger, the fear, the pain being squished up into a little ball and being trapped inside you.

These feelings can manifest into bitterness, low self worth/love, mistrust, anger issues, depression to name a few.

These feelings are natural in response to the situation that occured.

Imagine going to see your favourite comedian and me asking you not to laugh once.

It’s not bleedin natural is it??

Release your pain, allow yourself to be, talk when you need to, be free from pain and live fully again.

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