Creating boundaries is not easy, I struggled with this for fear that people may think I’m a terrible person for saying no to them or not being at their disposal 24/7.
The thing is, when I failed to set boundaries in new romantic relationships, with family or friendships, I created an impossible expectation of myself and one that I could never really fulfill. This could either leave me feeling guilty, not enough or determined to try that bit harder.
How draining hey?
With my zero boundaries I also bred relationships where people didn’t know when to stop pushing me for more, or pushing their opinions, manipulation and needs onto me. By the time I reached my mid 30’s, I had reached a point where I was unable to lie to myself anymore and pretend that this was ok.
I felt quite prepared to challenge family dynamics and walk away, to put my foot down in my relationships and to stop turning up to every social occasion because my ‘then’ partner seemed to suffer from extreme FOMO and I was expected to give a shit.
Let me share with you a short training I recorded regarding ‘Creating Boundaries’.https://youtu.be/3ZXtpqYE1eo
I’ll leave you with this thought;
Only since creating boundaries in my life have I realised that this also urges others to become a little more understanding, flexible, independant, empathic as humans. I now know that being at someone else’s disposal is not allowing the other person to grow.
Now that’s a new angle on ‘Care in the Community’ isn’t it?
Boundaries are put in place so we can share our energy in the world without exhaustion, so we can live alongside others without being continuously dented by them, so we can protect ourselves from abuse and energy vampires, so we can be in control of our choices, so we can say no to things that are not in line with our beliefs, so we are in control of what is ok for us.
I hope you enjoy the video x
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